Ready to Improve Your Relationships?

In Maslow’s hierarchy of human needs, personal relationships are placed in the middle – not at the top.

For most of us, however, our relationships define the quality of our daily lives. If our relationships are all wrong, it’s unlikely that anything in our lives will really be all right.

We may act out to deny the situation – by being busy all the time, for example, or taking almost anything to an extreme.

Who suffers then?

We do. And also those close to us.

However, if we accept our part in it, we can begin to change the dynamics for the better. Please note: I say ‘accept our part’ – not ‘take the blame’.

You see, the truth is that we are all conditioned by our early life experiences. As babies, we are totally dependent on other people for our survival. That means our methods of dealing with people – and situations – are all learned from day one.

Try visualising a triangle. Going up on the left hand side is the word ‘Dependence’. Some people get stuck on the climb to the top of the triangle. Typically, they revert to ‘King Baby’ mode whenever they perceive that their needs are not being fully met.

Going down the right hand side of the triangle is the word ‘Independence’. For many, this is the ultimate destination rather than the second stage of their journey. If you get stuck in Independence, you risk being totally ego-driven – alone in a crowd, solo in a partnership.

At the base of the triangle is the word ‘Interdependence’. This is the ideal goal in healthy relationships. In a one-to-one situation, it means that two independent adults choose to be together – in order to add unique value to each other’s lives.

Like a pair of skaters dancing together on solid ice, they choose to be a duo, knowing they can skate perfectly well on their own for a while - before coming back together.

On a crowded rink, either as a couple or solo - and even when the ice is thin - they can move gracefully through without either crashing into others or causing them to take evasive action.

If, right now, you’re feeling uneasy about your personal relationships, we need to identify the original source rather than focus on the current symptoms. Together, we can make all your relationship so much more rewarding on a daily basis – and your life so much more comfortable, for all the years ahead.